My List

I’m sure we all have these things we want to do before we’re a certain age.  Being that twenty-seven is just right around the corner, I thought I’d list some of mine:

Learn Chinese, French and Spanish
My French is the most tragic.  I’m a German speaker.  Gotta say it from your gut!

Travel to Italy, Greece, Spain and the UK…
I could go on and on about where I would like to go!

Take Chris through the places in Europe I have been
I always talk about it, but I can never convey the beauty, the experience, or the feelings without words.  I have been all over Germany, France, Poland and the very tip of Switzerland.   I wish I could convey the excitement I relive whenever I see places I’ve been in books or pictures.  It’s something you can only see for yourself.  Traveling abroad is an experience one can’t see until it is done!

Get a cow
This is probably the funniest.  I want a Dexter cow.  Cows are just like big dogs.  (Strangely, I had a fear of dogs until I got one, but I’ve always loved cows.)  If you have never petted a cow, go seek one out (not the bull though).  One on my friend’s farm used to lean into the fence when she was scratched.  Quite cute for such large things.

Zorb
Those of you who don’t know, I love roller coasters and all sorts of other crazy things.  Particularly safe thrill seeking.  Motorcycle riding is probably the extent of my high speed thrill seeking without rails.  Being that zorbing is done on a closed course, I’d like to give it a go.

Any suggestions?

Baby Videos Stupefy Children

One day during my maternity leave with Kari, almost 4 years ago now, a neighbor came over with some items her granddaughter had outgrown.  There were some outfits, some blankets and one Baby Einstein DVD.  I hoped she didn’t see my horror.  Chris and I weren’t against television, just this type of television.

The Baby Einstein DVD sat for about a month on the bookshelf.  Finally, Chris and I were curious about all the hype behind this stuff and popped it in one day.  Kari was in her bouncy seat about 4 feet from the television, while Chris and I flanked each side of her.  I don’t know what we were expecting, with the way we were bracing ourselves, you’d think we just committed a crime.

Our pediatrician explained about these shows and was adamant about no television until after 2 years, at minimum.  She said infants have a defense mechanism – being alert to change.  So, these children’s shows play on that with their changing images and colors.  The babies can’t look away while watching because their defense mechanism is telling them to pay attention, and the parents misinterpret this as the kid loving it!

This story just came out for the local news.  It’s only a half page, but if you couldn’t read the whole thing, here is my favorite quote:

“In fact, one controversial 2007 study suggested that “educational” videos and DVDs for the very young, such as Baby Einstein and Brainy Baby, might even make them dumber by impeding word acquisition.”

These shows babble and use “baby talk” along with their flashing images.  Again, something our peditrician warned us about:  baby talk.  She said to talk normally.  So, we all did.  And, guess what?  Kari has been speaking in full sentences since 18 months and no one, strangers or family, has trouble understanding her.

It’s about spending time with your kids!  Be practical folks!  Education takes a long time.  These videos aren’t going to make your kid a genius – you are!  Invest in their education.  Read to them always.  Embrace their curiosity.  The television didn’t teach Kari how to read, or speak German, or count and add.  It was a lot of hard work by Chris, my parents and myself.

So, what happened after we flipped on the Baby Einstein video?  After 2 minutes, the vivid images gave me a headache, and the noises were annoying, so we thought Kari might feel the same, if she could only talk.  We ended up throwing it away.

Poisoning the Protein

I am a vegetarian.  I have been for the past twenty-three years (for those of you doing the math, I decided to go veggie when I was 4 years-old).  My parents allowed me to do this if I kept myself healthy, ate well and didn’t suffer any other adverse effects.  When I was thirteen, I broke my finger, badly.  Yeah, Katie Bachman sure could kick a soccer ball, but my finger shouldn’t have broken that easily.  So, a diet revision was in order.  Enter Morningstar Farms.  And later Boca Burger. My new diet supplements were meat substitutes made of derived protein.

Over the years, these meat substitutes became more popular and expanded from just burgers to chicken patties, ground meat, sausage, brats, etc.  In taste tests, kids even preferred the faux hot dogs – and they’re marketed to moms because they’re less fat!

Great, right?  What could possibly be wrong with this great line of products?!  Less fat?  Nothing wrong with that!  Expensive?  Got over that a long time ago.

They’re made of derived proteins.  That’s what’s wrong.  Let me explain.

I workout daily doing cardio and weight training.  I know to keep myself healthy, I need protein, but how much protein should I be getting?  I looked up this nifty calculator.  I need 86 grams of protein per day based on my height, weight and activity level – at minimum!

Here is a general chart to help you calculate how much protein you get in a day:

Protein Chart

Then I got curious about my meat substitute’s contribution toward my goal and whether or not I should look into protein shakes.  I hit Google.  Then I read ingredients lists on protein shakes.  Whoa!  Hydrolyzed proteins.  Then I realized I hadn’t read the ingredients on my meat substitutes in a while.

Last Monday morning, I called Boca.  After the question, “Do your products contain MSG?” left my lips, the line was silent.  I repeated myself.  The representative started a canned spiel about how Boca is concerned about the health and safety of its consumers.  I cut him short.  I told him I appreciate the script, but just want the facts.  He then stumbled over some words I had heard before, so I recognized immediately what he wouldn’t say:  their products do contain MSG.  Hydrolyzed protein is one phrase.  Wherever you see it, there will be MSG.

The Boca representative then went on to tell me that the FDA does not find MSG to be harmful in low levels and how their products do not contain more than the legal limit designated by the Federal government.  Feeling saucy, and duped again by another company, I quipped, “So, if I eat multiple products during the day with the legal limit of MSG, would I then not be over the legal limit healthy for consumption?”  He searched the script while mumbling, “uh and um”.  Sorry, Jason, you had to get me that day.  I thanked him and hung up.

I didn’t bother calling Morningstar Farms as the ingredients listed it clearly on their website:  hydrolyzed protein.

What to do about protein?  I’m not giving up on my search for food that doesn’t make me sick.  And I hope you all realize MSG isn’t just harmful to those who are most sensitive.  It’s like anything else.  It’s not good for you, it is just the people most sensitive who recognize it.  Try going MSG free, see how you feel – and you’ll know the next time you encounter MSG.  Detox, as I joke, for a month.  MSG can cause moodiness, depression, anger, headaches and I’m sure other internal damage.  It is found in foods everywhere – and it isn’t always listed on the label, but hidden in hydrolyzed proteins, artificial ingredients, etc.

So, I’m on the search for healthy sources of protein.  I immediately thought of making trail mixes with seeds and nuts, yogurt, drinkable yogurt, cheese, peanut butter, milk, bean everything, etc.  But, I need to calculate protein intake.  I need your help finding healthy, natural protein packed foods.

Happy Birthday!

Dear Blog,

Happy Birthday!  You’re two!  I think you are the longest running ‘version’ of a blog I have ever had.  Congrats!

Sure, there have been months of hiatus and scrapped drafts like any overly critical writer, but we’re still going strong.  I haven’t nuked your WordPress install nor your directories.  Way to go!

I hope to have you around for many years to come!

Jack

P.S.  As your birthday winds to a close, here are some funny things from the past year:

Funniest Spam Comment
I read about an actuary who calculated that the odds of a man’s trousers falling down if he was wearing both a belt and suspenders was about 35,000 to one. What would be the odds of a man’s trousers falling down while wearing only a belt? What about only suspenders?

Funniest Keywords
Assist to Sell Rain
do lamp cords need to be fully extended

Keywords I’m Proud to See
how to persuade mall to allow puppy mill info table

Scary Keywords
dexcool illness (It’s antifreeze, folks!  Call poison control – not Google!)
how close can a heat lamp be to drywall

Absolute Scariest Keyword
can packaging tape catch on fire if used to secure an outlet (I have no words for this)

WTF Keyword
my wife jackie does interracial
so hot pop corn popped in car

Longest Visit on Site
9 minutes 19 seconds

Has anyone ever been 6 years-old?

Read:  6 year-old sent to reform school for bringing a weapon to school

Note:  he wasn’t bringing a weapon, to him it was something new and cool to show off.

Has anyone ever been 6 years-old?!  The length of punishment is way too long and what is he really going to learn?!