Social Media As The End-All

Each day during my morning commute, the work day when not in meetings and my evening commute, I listen to NPR. Most of the stories are interesting and I wholeheartedly agree with the issues presented as being issues for society. But this morning my interest was greatly piqued.

Listen/Read: NPR Story Facebook May Not Be So Friendly For Those With Low Self-Esteem

I understand most people have lower inhibitions regarding self-disclosure via social media. This could contribute to the concept of airing dirty laundry more openly on facebook and the like.  Also, the potential negative effect that the lack of reaction (like, share) by others to wall posts by those with low self-esteem could occur. With this part of the story, I agree.

The part that somewhat shocked me was from the 24 year-old law student quoted in the story.  He mentions if something is posted an no one likes it or shares it, you feel your idea is worthless.  He goes on to speak about pictures of events being posted where you were not included.  He notes feeling deliberately excluded or forgotten, and the fact that those pictures of the exclusion are posted for all to see.

Has facebook replaced our social interactions to the point where this is the only interaction that matters?  That gives us self-worth?  We are social creatures and our happiness is derived from those around us (and even the social network of those who surround us), so what happens to our happiness when our interactions with those around us are limited to simply text with no diction or tagging in pictures?

Last year, I read Don’t Call Me, I Won’t Call You.  At the time, I was shocked. I never thought of the phone call as a rude form of communication. I still don’t. Why? You don’t have to answer it. And if the person I am calling (intruding upon) does not answer, I leave a voice message. This is something many people do not do, and I find that awkward. Through text message, diction is lost. I am not sure how one can feel truly connected with someone through text message or liking their facebook posts.

I must be one of those dinosaurs who enjoys a coffee date, a phone call or just a good face-to-face conversation with one of my girlfriends, right? Sadly, I’m not. I’m only turning thirty this fall. And, yes, I do use facebook, just evidently not like some of my generation and younger.

Facebook and other forms of social media are wrought with miscommunication potential.  Think about what the 24 year-old law student said in the NPR story: pictures posted without you in them, were you purposely not invited? Just because you were not invited to that particular event, does that mean you have no friends whatsoever? Of course not, you have 568 friends on facebook.

Are we getting to the point where we prefer passive interaction? Can relationships be retained with 140 character bursts?

Communication is Key

Communication is key.

How often have we all heard that phrase?

Now let that phrase marinate.

Why is communication so key?  Communication is so important in our lives we even have a word for the times when communication goes awry.  Few of us master communication, and definitely not with everyone.  Why? Communication is always a transaction.  Verbal. Nonverbal. Always receiving.  Always responding.

I talk. You listen.

You talk. I listen.

Right?

One would hope.  In written word, this seems rational; however, once we get so fixated on what we are trying to say, we forget to listen.  I talk. You talk. No listen.

In reality, it’s not all about me.  And it’s not all about you.

One thing I have experienced in my role as a student recently is the propensity of everyone to talk in the classroom.  I left the classroom last night with my head reeling with questions not about the class topic, but human behavior.  We were to work on a group project.  After twenty of the thirty minutes assigned, two of the six were not budging.  They allowed their personal opinions to get in the way of the research and trends.  In the remaining 10 minutes, we debated, but came up with a good idea to present.  Someone presented, but only presented their opinions and pieces of the project they liked.  I was dashed that our project was not presented.  Especially when we all had good ideas.

Everyone is so concerned with being heard. It seems as though instead of listening actively, we are all so busy thinking about our response while the other person is talking, thus not actively listening or reflecting. We will only be intelligent as a society if we act like a society.  Collective knowledge benefits the whole community.

Collaboration is amazing.  It happens when communication is at least roughly effective.  Groups of people connect over common ideas, issues, etc. and create something.  Their minds come together to create!  Amazing!

Why are we all so hung up on our own ideas? Why are our experiences more important than those of others?