To the kid who called my daughter a loser

Dear K –

I know it must be hard moving to a new school in the middle of the year, but making fun of people is not the way to go about making new friends. I know you have gotten in with the “popular girls” who spend much of their free time insulting others, but your game is old and only shows your insecurity.

On the bus you told Kari’s best friend that Kari was a loser because she likes video games and only has weird friends. This really upset Kari’s best friend. Today Kari told you how you hurt her friend and needed to apologize. She told me she could care less about what you said to her, but it hurt her that you hurt her friend. You see, I have told Kari stories about why people like you are mean. You’re insecure. You’re worried you’ll be the target. You think it is an eat-or-be-eaten world, but it is not.

If you’re new at Kari’s elementary school, she’s not far away. Kari is an ambassador at school – a role she takes very seriously. I even told her how hard it is to be new at a school and encourage her to make friends with the new kids. She plays four square at recess with her bestie, and I’m sure you’re welcome to join. They prefer rule-followers, but have been known to tolerate some rule-fudging. They know life is bigger than the playground.

You are right about one thing, Kari likes video games. She does chores around the house for money to pay for a dedicated Minecraft server for her and her friends. If you asked, she’d give you an invite to the server so you could play too. When she’s not playing games, she’s playing music, drawing, or being a great big sister. She’s really smart too, and a good neighbor in school to help if others ask. She also is a great dancer and on a local dance team. Maybe you’d want to join and Kari would be the first to welcome you there too.

Sometimes Kari brings her friendship bracelet stuff to school. She makes one for anyone who asks. I bet she’d still make you one too.

I really hope you’ll reconsider talking about other kids like you do. You never know when they may be just the friend you need.

-Kari’s mom