Area 51 at Home

Chris and I live at the top of a valley between Jefferson and St. Louis counties.  Jefferson County recently built a new sewer district administration building.  We lived through the blasting, hammering and sawing throughout the summer and fall, and assumed the disturbance would end with construction.


Apparently, Jefferson County must be trying to summon spaceships with their parking lot lights.  We are talking at least 10 gigantic, ballpark-type lights for a parking lot smaller than a gas station.

Chris and I, and I am sure some of our neighbors, feel the pain of the lights streaming into bedroom windows at night.

I am the type of person who wakes up with the sunrise.  If it’s dark, I’m dead to the world.  If it is light, I’m wide awake.  So, with the lights, it’s no sleep with the drapes open.  Or, if I shut the drapes, I wake up late for work – regardless of the alarm!

Today, after rolling out of bed at 7 and trying to cram an hour and a half’s worth of bed-making, dinner prep, breakfast eating, showers, dog walking, and ironing into 30 minutes, I finally had enough.  I put a call in with Jefferson County.  I live in St. Louis County.  You can imagine where this is going.

I call.  I get the automated system.  No idea where to start, I dial the operator.  She cannot remember a new building in North Jefferson County being built this year and transfers me to public works.

The person in public works does not understand what I want them to do, so I explain how I petitioned Gravois Bluffs shopping mecca to turn off every 2 parking lot lights at night to cut down on light pollution (because when we purchased our house 4 years ago, I could see everything BUT the Milky Way, then with Gravois Bluffs, I was lucky to see Polaris).  Then I have to explain light pollution, and it’s a thing that bothers astronomers really, and, yeah.  I have alienated myself already in this 5 minute phone call.

She transfers me to voting.

There, after requesting my address, and telling the lady I am not in Jefferson County, she tells me I am not in Jefferson County and need to have my counsel member call the sewer building’s counsel member.  I ask to talk to the counsel member over the sewer building.

“What sewer building?!”
She consults with her colleague.
“Oh!  You mean the Northeast Sewer Management District Building!”
She whispers the name and number to me.

I call Don, and he was very understanding and said he would phone them right away to see if some sort of timer could be set.

Thanks, Don!

Now, hopefully, Don will get the lights toned down, and I can wake up at 6 am, leave the house at 7:30, and omit the good morning panic!