Category: Education

The Gifts of Gifted

As I am writing this, I am exhausted.  Not only this morning did I help at my daughter’s school for their holiday party where I had to keep up with 15 six to seven year-olds, but I had to keep up with my own kiddo.  For those who don’t know, Kari is what most term “gifted” in the education system.  The kids had about seven crafts to do.  With each craft, Kari would become frustrated if it didn’t look just as she wanted and would begin to cry.  I tried to field the tears so the other moms didn’t have to juggle her tantrum and help the other kids at the station as well.  After each instance, I would approach her, tell her, “I think it looks great.  If you spend too much time making this craft and trying to make it exactly how you see it in your head, you will not have time to do all of the crafts.” I would then walk away. She would stop crying and move on.  At the end, I was very proud of her.  She did not get to make one craft because she ran out of time.  She looked like she was going to cry, so I told her about my warnings and maybe she could be allowed to make one later if she finished her schoolwork.  She changed her expression and agreed that was a good plan!

Chris and I were both “gifted” in school, but it is rather different dealing with it from the other side.  And, frankly, she’s a mix of how we were in school so we have to combine forces to understand.  She won’t do school work she knows and has to be bribed to do so, because “what’s the point?!” This is very Chris. She wants everything to be just so and will cry if not perfect.  This is so me. And, in some cases, it takes the two of us to logic it out against her.  We try very hard as parents to not say, “because I said so!”

Many people don’t understand why I suck in a breath before I tell people she’s gifted.  They think gifted is great and parenting a smart kid should be a cinch.  Yes, gifted is great, but like any other child, they have their challenges and that is hard to explain to people who think gifted equals easy.  It’s like trying to parent a child with super logic skills and intense emotions.  It’s hard having such intense feelings for such a small kiddo.

What many don’t know unless you are an educator or a parent of a gifted child yourself is that the giftedness applies to more than just school work. Many days it is a challenge to keep up with them.

Concentration
Sure, they hear you, but they might reason that what you’re saying isn’t a priority for them right now and continue on with their project. Also, just because they are in deep concentration doesn’t mean they cannot hear you.  They are like little absorbant sponges sucking up all the stimuli around their environment.

Logic
For Kari, the everyday challenges we battle involve her fixation, perfectionism and reasoning.  Getting her to brush her teeth isn’t just, “Kari, go brush your teeth please”, rather, “Kari, go brush your teeth right now. We need to XYZ and we can do ABC later. Go now please.”  Otherwise, she’ll reason in her noggin she can do XYZ later because it’s not what she is fixated on right now.

Perfectionism
Like with anything, most of us want to do our best.  With gifted kiddos, it is this perfectionism that drives them to frustration and it can be very hard to talk them down off the ledge of a tantrum.  Kari’s frustration with her perceived inability to do the activity perfectly drives her concentration further.  This is often where my patience is tested!

Vivid Imagination
Daydreaming is a great activity, but it sure can be disruptive if something else should be occurring at that point in time.  All of these ideas and thoughts inside can be very distracting, and sometimes gifted kids need their daydreaming or introspective time.  Many gifted

Fairness, Rules and When Injustice Happens
Gifted kids often understand the rules, why they are important and they fail to have patients for when the rules are broken.  Kari is a stickler for the rules.  She would constantly correct other kids.  It wasn’t until I had a conversation with her about when she corrects the kids at school she is doing three things:  being what the other kids might see as bossy, depriving the other kids from a learning experience and not following the rules herself.  Once I laid it out for her like that, she stopped her outbursts of frustration.  She will still come home and vent her frustrations about how the kids didn’t listen and it affected the class’ day.

There are emotional challenges too.  This is where Living with Intensity Living with Intensity was particularly helpful for me to help me go back in time to recall those feelings.  It can be frustrating for gifted children as they are dealing with all of these ideas in their head, their tendency toward fairness and rules, and then their logic when working out social issues with other kids.  They also sometimes have conflicts with listening to the adult or their logic.

 

 

 

The Best Part is She’s Homeless!

Thanks to a friend on Facebook (thanks, MB), I found information on a new American Girl doll.  She is fantastically crafted.  She has her own story, like all American Girl dolls, telling where she has been, what social atrocity she has faced and how she has overcome great odds to come home with your little girl.  The best part is:  she’s homeless!

Gwen found herself living in her car with her children after her husband left them.  And, for only $95, your children could be educated regarding social injustice!

How does this now teach children about homelessness and social responsibility?  I’m seriously asking, because I am clueless. I would much rather discuss homelessness with my child and take her with me to volunteer at a soup kitchen or a women’s facility where real women have faced these issues.  I would also like to take the $102.60 ($95 plus tax) I would spend on the doll (not including accessories) and donate it to said soup kitchen or shelter.  This is education.

Being Kari is only 3 and would not understand some of the concepts, Chris and I have not gone into social issues with her; however, the recommended age for these dolls is 8 and up.  Here is a suggested list for parents to do with their 8 and over children to teach them about actual social issues.

Volunteer
It doesn’t really matter where or for what in the beginning, but have them volunteer for things.  Have them recognize that help does not always have to be paid, but rather is appreciated.  Volunteer at church, help set up for library story time, or have them read, play piano, etc. at a senior facility.  This gets them into the mindset of doing for others for the sake of others, and to appreciate the happiness they give to others.

Discuss
My parents taught me things at the level which I could understand.  And they told me the truth, Santa and Easter Bunny excluded, but they always told me what and why it happened/was wrong, and why the person did it (they were mad, mental, etc.).  This helped me grow up with an acute awareness of what happens in the world around me and a mentality to rationally do what I can to help negate some of these social issues.

Be Open
Freely talk about differences.  Not talking about something creates and unknown.  Unknown in children’s minds translates into something scary or bad.  My favorite phrase, “A confused mind says no,” applies here.  Talk about differences in culture, race, sexual orientation and class.  It’s hard for many people to remove opinions, but by providing children with the facts, this allows them to form their own opinions. Then, answer any follow up questions they may have.

In a practical sense, I feel these solutions teach children much more about life than a mass produced toy.  Besides, children have priceless imaginations that work just fine without $95 dolls.

If you Can’t Stand the Heat, Get Back in the Kitchen.

This is funny.  Truman said this in reference to women in male dominated careers.  This is interesting, as his atomic bomb project employed many women due to their attention to detail in handling experiments.  Other female physicists worked on the projects developing the theories behind ‘fat man’ and ‘little boy’.  (Read:  The Making of the Atomic Bomb)

An article in the Chronicle of Higher Education prompted this post.  “Reasons Why Women Leave Science and Technology Careers” from the Chronicle‘s June 18, 2008 edition has sparked quite the debate.  The article communicates that the reasons are similar to ‘the women can’t stand the heat’.  With quotes like, “women leave science and technology careers in droves because of “hostile macho cultures” and risk-taking incentives, among other reasons”, how can we expect to evolve as a society with such stereo-types?!

I have a degree in astrophysics.  I can code.  I do all things ‘anti-female’ and female.  I lost my research position that worked with NASA and several colleagues in Chile in 2002 because an incoming student (male) expressed interest in working with the project.  I then was given another assistantship – polishing telescope mirrors.  Out of anger, and assisted by the fact that one of my majors was being dropped, I left and finished my degree at another university.  Needless to say, my name is nowhere to be found on the paper published in 2005.

I cannot believe that the stereo-types women faced in the early 1940s while working on the atomic bomb project are still prevalent today.  Sure, not all women are golden, but not all of us are weak, lazy or incompetent.  We’re never going to get anywhere with society and education if this stereo-type remains.

Apple Media Seminar for Education

Currently, I am attending the Apple Media Seminar for Education. The content is good. I’m ready for the budget to be created at my campus to do some cool things – basically, I would like a Macbook, a Snowflake and endless space on the server for some amazing content. It currently isn’t in my job description, but I think I’m ready to make the move back into nerdery. I love financial aid, but I feel I am gravitating toward technology. I left technology when I started school and took a financial aid position in 2004, then just never looked back. I wonder if I am just going through the motions and resisting what I really want to do. Maybe I’m not resisting. Maybe I haven’t found a job description to fit me just yet.

The Sometimes Overlooked

I recently joined the campus rec center. I go during the lunch hour. This is unusual for me to be out of my office. I only leave my den usually for a meeting or some other mandatory event. My point being is that this lunchtime activity gets me out of the office during the middle of the day and I can walk at a casual pace (I’m always 5 minutes behind, so I typically rush everywhere). During my casual walks, I am able to look around and listen to what is going on around me.

Working on a medium sized university campus with the majority being the traditional 18 – 22 student. But, is even the “traditional student” traditional? No. During my walks over the past week, I have overheard some conversations – the majority being one sided (cell phones). As first, I tried not to listen, but this week, I am beginning to realize that this ‘listening’ could actually help me and my students. I have learned that some students are homesick, others don’t want to leave college – ever. I heard one student talk about not having a job after school. Another with such conviction said that he didn’t want to be a bad father and he was sorry.

They’re not just high school kids. They are individual students with real problems. Regardless of how emo, offbeat, in vogue or straight (aka ‘I’m okay’) they want to be, they are alike, but also very different. As administrators, educators and the general public, we need to embrace this! Millennials, although receiving a bad rap by some, are very diverse, aware and capable. They may actually teach us something.

Education has become, and will remain, a staple. Students also have choices when it comes to universities and colleges. Now that the largest high school class in history is preparing to graduate, what will higher education do for next year’s class? Simple. We need to address the issues, traits, and overall individuality that comes with every student. If our goal is for the student, then admissions and retention will just fall in place.

Kids are Under a Ton of Bricks Because…

College Consultants

While doing a service learning project at Roosevelt High School last fall, I heard about the strangest thing: a college coach. What did he do for this family? He helped their girls get into their schools. Got great aid packages. Hired ACT coaches for them. Seems a bit odd to me still.

Even though I am going through some of the college crunch now trying to get my youngest sister in-law into school, file the forms, etc. I’ve been doing this for students for about five years now. For what? My salary. My satisfaction. Their education. I understand orchestrating all of these services and knowing the ‘ins and outs’ can be difficult, especially for first generation college students. High schools and colleges offer many of these services for free! Seek and find. Make some phone calls. Maybe these consultants are great, but I don’t see the value in their extra cost.

Student Loan Stress

I work in financial aid, and there is a ‘big hoopla’ going on right now in regards to financial aid. Essentially, due to said ‘big hoopla’ propaganda/media is advising students not to trust financial aid offices and to apply for the loans they need on their own. This is causing complete insanity for the following reasons:

1. Students must abide by the rules set out by the Department of Education. The financial aid offices at universities help students follow such rules. Without following certain rules (borrowing within the set cost of attendance), cheaper financial aid could be revoked.
2. Financial aid offices also work FOR the student. I don’t know how many students I had to counsel about the difference between Federal and private loans just last semester alone. I ended up just saying, “Listen, I’m returning your private loan and you need to call ‘lender’ to get it changed to a cheaper GradPLUS loan”.
3. Financial aid offices are the watch dogs. We read the fine print that some students overlook. If a lender or a loan sounds kind of funny, we have the experience to know this and we counsel the student. Good financial aid officers will always do so.
4. Financial aid offices know the rules and regulations. Similar to point 3, but on a bigger scale. Some private lenders have a business of taking students for a ride. They will offer benefits and great teasers, but when it comes time to repay the loan, it could be really ugly. Financial aid officers know who is good and who is bad. It’s not about offices signing with lenders and making partnerships.
5. Other aid could be available. Do not take a loan of any kind before grants and scholarships are exhausted. At that point, take Federal loans. Only take private loans if desperate.
6. Only use non-school channeled loans after speaking with a financial aid officer. These loans can be scary because they don’t even go through a financial aid office. So, the ‘guard dogs’ don’t even see if anyone could be raiding the ‘cookie jar’.

Just be careful and borrow wisely. Remember that not everyone graduates making six figures, so don’t throw money away! Keep your credit clean – you don’t want to have your college borrowing mistakes follow you.

“You need to live like a student, so you don’t have to live like a student for the rest of your life.”
-my good friend from TG