The People of the Internet are taking all your time

Something many of us have dealt with is distraction with electronic devices. This growing phenomenon sprouted with the advent of high-speed Internet, got worse with the smart phone, quickly slid further with tablets and Wi-Fi wherever you go!

With this great technology comes great responsibility, and great cost. We’re always connected, but with whom? Those “People of the Internet” as I call them in my house, or people on Facebook, Twitter, etc. who are on your device, but not present regularly in your physical life, what lasting enjoyment are they giving you?

I find it interesting to see people in stores walking next to each other, but on their phones, or people in cars and all the passengers are on their phones (sadly, even some drivers). Or the best, dinner out with friends, where dinner is somehow social with the people present, yet the diners are present only with the People of the Internet.  This activity has gotten so prevalent it has spawned a Phone Stack game – all phones are stacked on the table and whoever cannot resist picks up the tab. My question: what are we missing? Do the People of the Internet care farther than fleetingly if you comment on their blog, read their article or like their status?

To me, it’s interesting what an alternate reality the Internet, smart phones and tablets play in our culture today. It can quickly turn into a time suck. I remember when my family first got the Internet at home when I was fourteen. I found myself addicted to it and quickly decided that wasn’t a way to spend my time. I interacted with people online, sure, but what real, tangible benefit did those conversations give me in my real life?

My husband pointed out my last statement made it sound like I was trashing all of the interaction on the Internet, which is not what I meant here, so here is my edit: Much can be learned from the Internet, but I would like to wager many of us are not engaged on the Internet to that degree during much of our time spent on the Internet. Here is a favorite Clay Shirky quote of mine to illustrate such:

This linking together in turn lets us tap our cognitive surplus, the trillion hours a year of free time the educated population of the planet has to spend doing things they care about. In the 20th century, the bulk of that time was spent watching television, but our cognitive surplus is so enormous that diverting even a tiny fraction of time from consumption to participation can create enormous positive effects.

We are capable of so much more than we are doing – imbibe what makes you stronger and create and collaborate with others. The Internet has made such activities immeasurably easier to do, yet, it also brought time sucks like Facebook, some strands of Reddit, etc. to which I was above referring by my statement in question.

I would rather be present in the lives of those physically around me so as to not miss those all too fleeting moments that make up life. When with friends and family, I want to make them feel valued by me. I want to always feel connected to my husband in our time at home together. Now that I have Kari, it is even more imperative to make sure she feels appreciated, important and loved.

I am so glad I have been present for moments like these:

Crystal being silly
Dear friends getting married
The girls opening presents from Nana
Priceless Mother and Daughter moments
Serious Dancer

 

People are not moments in time that will be there when you get off the Internet. Time for them keeps moving on.

If you are still not convinced about putting down your device to be more present, please see what these NPR articles have to say:

For the Children’s Sake, Put Down That Phone

When Parents are Too Distracted

A Video Game Meant To Take Us Back To The Physical World

Social Media As The End-All

Each day during my morning commute, the work day when not in meetings and my evening commute, I listen to NPR. Most of the stories are interesting and I wholeheartedly agree with the issues presented as being issues for society. But this morning my interest was greatly piqued.

Listen/Read: NPR Story Facebook May Not Be So Friendly For Those With Low Self-Esteem

I understand most people have lower inhibitions regarding self-disclosure via social media. This could contribute to the concept of airing dirty laundry more openly on facebook and the like.  Also, the potential negative effect that the lack of reaction (like, share) by others to wall posts by those with low self-esteem could occur. With this part of the story, I agree.

The part that somewhat shocked me was from the 24 year-old law student quoted in the story.  He mentions if something is posted an no one likes it or shares it, you feel your idea is worthless.  He goes on to speak about pictures of events being posted where you were not included.  He notes feeling deliberately excluded or forgotten, and the fact that those pictures of the exclusion are posted for all to see.

Has facebook replaced our social interactions to the point where this is the only interaction that matters?  That gives us self-worth?  We are social creatures and our happiness is derived from those around us (and even the social network of those who surround us), so what happens to our happiness when our interactions with those around us are limited to simply text with no diction or tagging in pictures?

Last year, I read Don’t Call Me, I Won’t Call You.  At the time, I was shocked. I never thought of the phone call as a rude form of communication. I still don’t. Why? You don’t have to answer it. And if the person I am calling (intruding upon) does not answer, I leave a voice message. This is something many people do not do, and I find that awkward. Through text message, diction is lost. I am not sure how one can feel truly connected with someone through text message or liking their facebook posts.

I must be one of those dinosaurs who enjoys a coffee date, a phone call or just a good face-to-face conversation with one of my girlfriends, right? Sadly, I’m not. I’m only turning thirty this fall. And, yes, I do use facebook, just evidently not like some of my generation and younger.

Facebook and other forms of social media are wrought with miscommunication potential.  Think about what the 24 year-old law student said in the NPR story: pictures posted without you in them, were you purposely not invited? Just because you were not invited to that particular event, does that mean you have no friends whatsoever? Of course not, you have 568 friends on facebook.

Are we getting to the point where we prefer passive interaction? Can relationships be retained with 140 character bursts?