How to Handle a Case of the Mondays

I am usually a chipper person.  I always say, “Nothing is going to come of it by stewing over it.”  Essentially, move on and get over it.  Being sad about it doesn’t win anything new.  Today, however, I just wanted to roll over, flip off the alarm and go back to sleep.  It didn’t get much better.

Don’t buy GM.
The truck has gone through 3 batteries in its 6 years of life.  This morning, when I am supposed to go somewhere, it doesn’t start.  I go up to the store where I bought the battery to ask for a refund.  They tell me the battery is still good and they’ll charge it.  They call me later and tell me it is bad and I have to buy a new one.  Fantastic.  I could have bought the new one hours earlier and been on my way.  They tell me to come get my refund for the bad battery later.  I told them 7:30.

Take the trash out and cover the sofa.
For some reason, dog decides she can get on the sofa today.  OH!  And get in the trash!  OHHH!  And howl all day!  She probably got in the cat box too.

The dog ate my homework excuse does not work in grad school.
I completely left my assignment at home.  Thank you, Kim, for reading it to me over the phone.

Is bright blue the new invisible?
On Vandeventer, a black Volkswagen just decides to come on over.  And keep coming after I honk.  Then slowed way down.  After finally getting to the highway, my husband had sent out a search party as it took so long.

Pay at the pump.  Just trust me.
“I’m at pump 10.”
“You know, sometimes I walk home and get home and say, ‘Where’s my car?!’, and I forget I drove it to work and I gots to walk back and git it.”
“That’s a problem.”
“Na, I live close.”
“That’s good then.”
“Is that the turbo one?”
“Yes, it is.”
“Can I drive it?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Awww.  Why not?”
“Well, it’s very babied.”
“You know, the harder you romp on thems cars, the better theys run.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”

Your time is money.
Don’t stand around for 45 minutes waiting for someone to give you a refund on a battery.  Don’t also stand there and watch a punk flirt with two girls about their hub caps.  Just leave.  The manager isn’t coming.  And when he does, he can’t calculate credits and debits right.  Just go to the auto store where the staff are sitting outside in their cars with altezza lights, their hoods popped to reveal their stock engine bay with flashy hose covers, and the aroma of Amourall pouring out of the windows.  Remember, Jackie is now spelled Jacy or Jaky whey they look up your account.  Not like Jackie O. or anything.

Again, do I have cloaking on?
A SUV cuts over into my lane without a turn signal.  I honk.  At a flashing red, they stop.  And stay stopped.  I honk.  At an intersection turning right, they yield.  I am the only car within 1,000 feet of these people.  I am not proud of this, but after 15 seconds, I beeped that horn like I was dribbling a basketball.  I go right behind them.  They proceed to cut over 2 lanes into my lane.  I zip off in my that there turboed car.

1 thought on “How to Handle a Case of the Mondays”

  1. Have you ever read the series, “A Series of Unfortunate Events?” I think you could make millions if you wrote your own series, “A Series of Bizarre, Off the Wall, Crazy Events.” Then you could get that cow…

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