Education Coffee Chat

Yesterday I had a great chat with fellow educator, Sherita Love. I met Sherita at Venture Cafe a couple of weeks ago where she put together a panel of other talented educators. This panel spoke about the education inequalities and in the area and what they were doing to examine and affect the problem.

The panel only was able to chat shortly because the audience felt they needed a forum to speak. We need to have roundtables here in St. Louis to talk about education and the awesome programs working to impact education. Sherita is making sure more forums for conversations are open, but people interested in chatting about education need to attend. The best collaborations and ideas can come out of the most unexpected places.

At our coffee chat, Sherita and I talked about some of the needs in the St. Louis area. We talked about assumptions, college readiness (& awareness), education diversity, parent advocacy, transition planning, volunteering, etc. We also talked about cool stuff happening around the St. Louis area to affect education. One such cool thing is the organization Sherita co-founded with another great educator: GLAMM. This is just one of the many cool projects and programs happening around the area. See how you can get involved!

There will be plenty of upcoming conversations about education happening in St. Louis. I’ll post about them here, but would love to see you there! Education is everyone’s right and everyone’s responsibility. Think about how you can make a change in someone’s education. It may be small to you, but huge to them.

My dissertation defense: Experiences of College Students with Disabilities

My dissertation is titled An Exploration of the Lived Experiences of College Students with Disabilities. Some of my friends and colleagues attended to hear the great research. Now you get to watch it and share it with your friends and colleagues! The SlideShare is below as well.

Cookies, Candy, and Qualitative Research

Thursday, July 21 at 1 pm CT have my public defense of my dissertation: An exploration of the lived experiences of college students with disabilities (my dissertation abstract).

All are welcome to attend, or email me if you’d like the link to the live cast. If you come in person, you’ll be able to enjoy homemade cookies. Otherwise, you’ll have to BYOC.

Free Knowledge, Inquire Within

You use Wikipedia. But did you know it’s not just good for giving you fingertip access to factoids? The movement is much more than that. There are some pretty big goals.

Sometimes we take access to to quality, bias-free information for granted. Not everyone in the world has that luxury. But you can help make a change.

Get involved
Anyone can. You don’t have to be an expert or a jack-of-all-trades. You can start by cleaning up grammar on existing articles. Or take on bigger tasks.

Donate
If you haven’t watched the video above, do. It sounds so silly, but I get so excited when I think about how much information is given and received each day. What a gift! Donate today to give the gift of knowledge to everyone.

To find out more about all things wiki, come join me and others at the St. Louis Wiknic on July 10.

5 Essential Questions in Life

Today I watched Dean Ryan’s speech at Harvard Graduate School of Education’s commencement. He’s right. These five questions are essential.

Wait, what?
It is an effective way to ask for clarification. Pause and think about what you are doing. Are you doing it for the right reasons? “Importance of inquiry over advocacy.” So many of us are so excited to make an impact, we forget to stop and think about what the community/students/<insert stakeholders here> need and wants. Slow down and ask with an open mind.

I wonder…?
As we move from childhood into adulthood, we tend to lose our curiosity. We think we must have a definitive answer for everything the instant we are broached with a question. This question encourages curiosity and wonderment. Take a moment and admire the world you hope to change and wonder.

Couldn’t we at least…?
This is something we use to move forward, either when we are at an impasse or if we are not sure where to go. This question can be helpful in negotiations where there isn’t alignment. It is also helpful to get a heading when you don’t know your destination. A good start to fixing a problem, or a great start to an investigation.

How can I help?
A very curious thing that was told to me once by Sister Jay: “Service is not selfless.” What she meant was our actions are not all selfless. We get something out of doing service, perhaps good feelings or recognition of good deeds, and we need to recognize that. We need to be sure our desire to help does not get in the way of helping. Be sure the help is in the manner in which the community/students/<stakeholders> need or want. “Be aware of the Savior complex. Don’t let the real pitfalls extinguish one of the most humane acts. How we help matters as much as we do help.”

What truly matters?
At the end of the day, what matters to you? To society? For students? Dive deep and ask questions to find out what is at the heart of everything: beliefs, curriculum, habits, learning outcomes, practices, etc.

Finally, there is a bonus question:
And did you get what you wanted out of life, even so…?
When choosing to live every day, ask these questions often. You will find yourself both “cherished and respected.” Lead a life of passion, and you will inevitably answer this question with, “I did.”

An exploration of the lived experiences of college students with disabilities

Below is my dissertation abstract in its current form. Enjoy and please do let me know if you’d like a copy of the final draft!

This dissertation presents a phenomenological study of the experiences of students with disabilities during higher education. This study began due to the lack of literature available regarding the experiences of students with disabilities regarding their pursuit of higher education. The research focus grew from the enrollment rate inconsistencies between students with and without disabilities in higher education. The rate of enrollment of students with disabilities in higher education is significantly lower than the enrollment of students without disabilities. The reasons behind this are complex. It is affected by individual student’s choice to not disclose his or her disability, the transition preparation of the students with disabilities, and the experiences of students with disabilities at higher education institutions. Much of the literature focuses on data about students with disabilities, but little engages students with disabilities in the research.

A qualitative research design provided rich data. Data collected from individual semi-structured interviews was analyzed for themes and sub-themes. The interviews were correlated with observations and observer notes. Nine students with disabilities attending a Midwestern private higher education institution provided nearly nine hours of dialogue, observations, and notes to analyze. From this data, the following themes were extracted and listed here in order of strength, from least to greatest: identity (self-advocacy, self-worth), accommodations (academic life, support from others), social interaction, assumptions and stigma, and barriers. Specific observations or quotes were used to illustrate the existence of themes and sub-themes.

The illustrations developed from the data the student participants provided aided in designing the concluding arguments. The conclusion of the study invites administrators at the Midwestern higher education institution to examine the data analysis. Some of the student participants provided suggestions for improvement in the accommodation and support of students with disabilities. Additional suggestions for improvement were developed from the data. While the information provided from the student participants aided in appreciating the experiences of students with disabilities, more research is needed regarding the experiences of students with disabilities in higher education.

I love this: To Brock’s Father from Another Father

I love this letter to Brock Turner’s father from another father. He addresses how a father feels, but also the responsibility of a father.

This is by far my favorite paragraph:

If his life has been “deeply altered” it is because he has horribly altered another human being; because he made a reprehensible choice to take advantage of someone for his own pleasure. This young woman will be dealing with this for far longer than the embarrassingly short six months your son is being penalized. She will endure the unthinkable trauma of his “20 minutes of action” for the duration of her lifetime, and the fact that you seem unaware of this fact is exactly why we have a problem.

Read this letter, and read the victim’s. They are very poignant pieces.

See more of my pieces I have written on sexual assault.

Rape is a huge misunderstanding

If people don’t know what sexual assault and rape are, how can they tell what is rape and what isn’t? We need to educate students about positive relationships and what sexual assault and rape are.

Sadly, in many schools, we’re lucky to get outdated videos shown in health class.

Young people are obviously not getting the information early enough to affect their lives. For example, let’s take the author of this letter regarding convicted Stanford rapist, Brock Turner. His childhood friend, Leslie, kindly wrote a letter defending Brock. In this letter, there are a few mistakes. I’m going to break this down for everyone. You might want to get a snack because there’s a lot of “confusion” in this letter.

It was with great sadness that I read the news about Brock Turner, and the horrible situation that he was involved in.

You must mean the horrible situation he…created. Again, who forced him to do any of these things? Alcohol does not eat, breathe or asleep. A kindergartener could tell you ‘alcohol’ is not alive. Being alcohol is not alive, it cannot make you do anything. Yes, it hinders your judgement, but it’s still your judgement.

In those years, he was always very respectful of everyone.

People who commit sexual assault and rape are not masked strangers. They can be very nice people. My rapist was my friend. A friend I had known for a few years.

We all knew he’d swim in the Olympics one day.

Again with the swimming! Stop ignoring terrible life choices in light of athletic ability.

They all seem like such good kids brought up by two very cool and grounded parents.

Sure. No one says, “I’m gonna raise a rapist!” and no one ever says, “I’m going to be a rapist when I grow up!” Good people make bad decisions. He could be a very good kid in all other aspects of his life, but he made a very wrong decision in this instance and should have to pay for that decision.

If I had to choose one kid I graduated with to be in the position Brock is, it would have never been him.

You need to let go of your childhood vision of Brock. He may have been that nice guy back then, but he also may have been objectifying women. People are good at hiding their nougatty centers.

I could name off 5 others that I wouldn’t be surprised about.

Ha! Those 5 might actually be nice people. Maybe they weren’t star athletes and maybe you didn’t know them, but just judged from afar. Maybe they’re creepers. Four-fifths of sexual assaults are committed by people you know much of the time.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that alcohol increases emotions and feelings. 

Scenario: I’m angry and go get my gun because I am particularly annoyed at my neighbor right now. I shoot him, killing him, as a result. I’m a murderer, right? Oh, but I had been drinking heavily so now it’s all good because I was extra emotional?

I think this is all a huge misunderstanding.

How exactly? He didn’t take her overcoat by mistake, or try to get into her car, which happened to be identical to his, or bump into her spilling his coffee on her. Behind a dumpster, he stripped an unconscious woman just enough to provide himself access to her breasts and her genitals, as though she were some sort of utility. Please let me know your misunderstanding of the situation and I’ll help clarify it for you.

Brock is not a monster.

To you, no. To the victim, yes. Yes, he is. He is her personal boogyman. He taints her dreams. He sours her waking life. He violates her sexual interactions in her loving relationships. You may not see a monster, but she does.

I have known him much longer than the people involved in his case.

People change. People make bad decisions. Unless you were with him that night, you can’t say anything about his character at that point. Only Brock knows what he was thinking. And really, who would walk into court shouting their guilt from the hilltops? Of course he’s not going to say anything truthful.

I don’t think it’s fair to base the fate of the next 10+ years of his life on the decision of a girl who doesn’t remember anything but the amount she drank to press charges against him.

So, Brock raped her because she was drunk? And if she doesn’t remember anything, the 2 bicyclists and the police and the nurses and the doctors and the counselors should just forget all of what they saw too?

I am not blaming her directly for this, because that isn’t right.

Yes, you are, but I have hope you will get educated and see your flaws in your arguments.

But where do we draw the line and stop worrying about being politically correct every second of the day and see that rape on campuses isn’t always because people are rapists.

They’re not tree-leapers. Rapists are people too and odds are, besides Brock, you know someone who has sexually assaulted someone. You certainly know someone who has been sexually assaulted. Whether or not they know, in either case, is questionable. Does that excuse the assaulter from guilt then?

It is because these universities market themselves as the biggest party schools in the country.

Stanford, to me, is not a party school first, but one of good academics. Also, I cannot remember the last time I saw keggers mentioned in a college brochure.

They encourage drinking.

Girl, please. I think you just made every student affairs professional’s eyes roll. Would you like to handle campus judicials? Be my guest. The load would be so much lighter if these students would not drink. Maybe on-call staff and college VPs would get to sleep through the night on weekends. We discourage drinking until we’re blue in the face!

This is completely different from a woman getting kidnapped and raped as she is walking to her car in a parking lot. That is a rapist.

Yes, and so is Brock. There are many types of rape.

These are idiot boys and girls having too much to drink and not being aware of their surroundings and having clouded judgement. 

Another scenario: I drink and drive. I have an accident. I kill a man. That is called vehicular homicide. Why is it not just clouded judgement?

I’m not saying that is every case because I know there are young men that take advantage of young women and vice versa, but I know for a fact that Brock is not one of those people.

Why not? Because you played kickball as kids together?

He is respectful and caring, talented, and smart enough to know better.

Yeah, he probably is smart enough to know better. But also maybe he isn’t. Maybe he wasn’t taught to respect women. Maybe sex education and sexual assault weren’t covered where you all grew up. That doesn’t excuse his behavior though.

The trouble with thoughts like this young lady’s is that they’re contagious. They’re diminishing to victims. They ignore the facts. I hope one day she realizes what sexual assault and rape really are. I hope if she ever has to support a friend or loved one who was sexually assaulted, she will whole-heartedly support them.

Now go forth and share what you’ve learned. Or just share my posts about sexual assault. If we’re silent, someone else will become a victim.

Victim blaming has got to STOP!

We have all heard it. Some may even slip into it accidentally. We may not recognize it.

Victim blaming.

Victim blaming can happen with any sort of crime.

Robbery
“Oh, they shouldn’t leave their curtains open because people can see right in!”

Mugging
They shouldn’t have been out so late at night.”

Sexual harassment
“Well, she shouldn’t wear such revealing clothing.”

Racism
“What did they expect driving through a predominately white neighborhood!?”

Sexual assault
She was asking for it.”
She made me want her.”
She said ‘yes’ once before.”
She sent me the wrong message.”
She shouldn’t have gotten drunk.”
“I couldn’t help it. She has a hot body.”
She’s the one who decided to break up with me.”
“If she didn’t want to be raped, she shouldn’t have worn that.”

The list for sexual assault victim blaming, just like in the crimes above, goes on and on. The difference with racism and sexual assault are those are crimes against a person. A violation of their human rights. Racism and sexual assault are NEVER the victim’s fault. For this piece, I’m going to focus on sexual assault considering the recent events in the Stanford rapist case.

Sexual assault is NEVER the victim’s fault.

Maybe someone can tell this to the Stanford rapist and his father. Brock Turner was sentenced to merely 6 months in county jail for violently raping a woman while unconscious (please read her powerful letter addressing the court and Brock) after dragging her behind a dumpster and manipulating her clothes so he could access her breasts and genitals. The maximum was 14 years and prosecution only asked for 6 years.

Dan Turner, father of convicted rapist Brock Turner, wrote some interesting pieces in his letter to the court of Brock’s sentencing: “That is a steep price to pay for 20 minutes of action…” He’s 20 years-old and you have failed to teach your son how to respect other humans. I don’t care about how much weight he’s lost. I could give a crap less about his Olympic potential. He. Raped. Another. Person. He made his choice that night in January and now he has to suffer the consequences, which are all too light. But by far, my favorite quote is: “Brock can do so many positive things as a contributor to society and is totally committed to educating other college age students about the dangers of alcohol consumption and sexual promiscuity.”

Yes. Alcohol and sexual promiscuity made him do it.

First, alcohol. So there were how many other drunk people at that frat party and how many of them raped other people? How many people get sloshed at bars across every American city each day of the week and how many rapes are caused by that daily consumption of alcohol?

Now, sexual promiscuity. We talked about this above. Sexual assault is never the victim’s fault. Not ever. But damn that woman for wearing a beige cardigan and a dress! How sexually promiscuous! BEIGE! I have never seen anything hotter than a beige cardigan. Even had she been naked, she should not have been raped or even touched.

He chose her because she was drunk. He sought her out because she was the wounded giselle separated from the herd. And this predator only gets 6 months in jail so he can go tell women at colleges across America how to not turn on men so they don’t get raped.

Read more…

 

Oklahoma police officer explains how to avoid sexual assault 

The police brutality chiefs ignore

Don’t limit yourself.

“Don’t limit yourself,” Dr. Porterfield said to me after asking what I want to do after graduation.

This is the best advice I have gotten in relation to my career. Dr. Kent Porterfield, VP of Student Development at Saint Louis University, told me this one morning over coffee. He’s been at SLU as long as I have, but me a green professional, and him a seasoned pro. He’d humbly shake off me calling him a pro. He’s a smart guy, and part of that is always being open to learning.

Finally, I appreciated this advice last night. The last 2 nights I spent at WordCamp socials (hosted by WordPress St. Louis enthusiasts). This is the first year Chris invited me to the socials. He just didn’t think about it before. I assumed, wrongly so, that WordCamp was going to be full of developers and people well-versed in WordPress. No, there are so many people from so many different walks of life. Their day jobs so diverse. Many were so interested in my research – some of them educators themselves or so glad to hear of me looking at education in that way.

So why am I limiting myself?

It took me 5 months to completely appreciate this advice. I shouldn’t limit my job search to my education, but rather assess my skills, my potential, and what I want to do. I’m smart. I learn on my feet.

Our potential is bigger than ourselves, that is, if we really unleash it and take the opportunities along the way. Don’t limit yourself.